had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
