at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
