it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
