i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
