And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
