just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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