i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
