Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
