just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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