Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
