I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
