This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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