like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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