I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
