do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this just has baby written all over it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
