Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
