Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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