went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
try to milk me bitch
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
