It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
