take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize