Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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