just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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