D3 body, D1 cock
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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