I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize