I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
