so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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