So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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