When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
