Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My ass is underappreciated
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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