Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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