This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize