i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
