Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Are my feet made of real feet?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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