bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When did angry sex become our thing?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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