He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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