Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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