dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
