Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize