I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
