U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
