If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
