Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
