I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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