we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
