I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
