you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
