She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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