fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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