I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
