you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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