My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
