why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
