Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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