I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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