sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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