if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
