am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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