is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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