Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
