My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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