I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
